Saturday Corey and I went to a traditional Native American sweat lodge ceremony. It was powerful, and I felt super connected with these individuals I had never met in this life. I felt like I was meant to find these people. To be honest, I cant remember a lot of the details of what transpired in the lodge because it surpasses physical experience. That is the whole purpose of these events, to surpass the physical and connect with the divine, all that is. The process included opening the four doors, the cardinal directions.
This was a very enlightening experience for me and for Corey and everyone involved as well. I recommend this but its not for everyone! Do some research on it before you jump in, me on the other hand, did not do any research. I thought, oh, it cant be much different than a sauna... YEA RIGHT. A sauna is like a sissy version of a sweat lodge. The traditional sweat lodge is like a small dome shaped structure that would, traditionally, be covered with hides. A fire is started outside the dome hours before you enter the lodge and big rocks are placed in the fire. In the lodge is a pit where the red hot rocks are placed and when everyone has entered in a clockwise circle to fill the lodge, herbs are brushed on the rocks for some wonderful aroma therapy. The doors are closed making it pitch black and then the water pourer pours the water over the glowing rocks, immediately making it super hot and steamy.
The Lodge is a sacred place and upon entering you say, "All my relations", welcoming all your ancestors and spirit guides to be present with you in the lodge and assist you in healing and insight. "One heart, one mind, one spirit, one voice" is the chant before each directional door is opened. Very powerful stuff. So the four doors/directions...
East is represented by the color yellow. The sun rises in the east and brings the day to life. This door represents the season of Spring. Rejuvenation, birth, sowing seeds of the crop, new beginnings and building. The East door also represents insight and disillusionment brought by the light. The question we were to ask ourselves was "What is your greatest gift, given to you upon birth?".
The South door, the color red, is said to be where all life comes from (this makes me think of the root and sacral chakras [red and orange] dealing with sexual desire, fellowship and connection) and the season of summer. The sun is highest in the Southern sky, so heat and fire are also representatives of the South door. We were asked what our greatest fear was.
West is the door of storms, destruction, death, erosion, and the season Fall. This may sound like a negative thing, however, destruction, death, storms and erosion are all natural occurrences in nature and are necessary for the wheel of life to turn in a balanced way. The question for the West door was "What has the greatest storm been in your life?"
North is represented by the color white, the season of winter and the bear, who finds a cave and hibernates in the winter. What the bear's spirit tells us is when the life is harsh or we find ourselves alone, go inside to find comfort and safety. I also feel the north door encourages rest and reflection. Much like the trials of life, we must look inwardly for guidance when it cannot be found outwardly. We were not given a question for this door, there was such a large turn out for this event that we had already been in the lodge for almost three hours.
This was by far the coolest spiritual experience I've ever had. Better than any hallucinogen. I've done my fair share of experimentation with "spiritual drugs" and it has continuously been my personal experience that there is no greater high than a natural one.
Each question was asked and we were asked to each share our answer which is why it was such a long lodge. My greatest gift is the gift of sight and the ability to see beauty in all things. Often times people are illusioned and captured by the negative side and miss out on the beautiful side of things.
My greatest fear is being alone. But I realized through insight that I actually have reinforced this fear. I have a habit of doing everything and taking care of it all, never wanting to burden another with the work and I am very good at multitasking at times when it's needed. There are times when I seem to be controlling since I cannot let another give their part or input. And most of the time this causes me to end up alone. The positive thing I got from this though is that once you realize these kinds of "distortions" or self reinforced fears/habits, once you realize them for what they are, that's when they really start to heal. You have to get all the way to the core for total healing to occur. This fear comes from my father. He was always working, always doing more and going beyond the call of duty so to speak to make sure ends were met and for this he was gone a lot and when he was home, he was distant and sometimes harsh.
The greatest storm of my life passed just before my husband came in to my life. I was in a toxic relationship before I met my husband, one that no longer served me. It was a very destructive relationship. We both hurt each other beyond words and eventually things turned physically abusive. I thought I deserved it for what I had done... I was in a lot of emotional turmoil, asking myself why this was happening to me and what could I do to turn things around? One day I heard a phrase on the radio, a random song I've never heard since then that said, "you only get what you think you deserve". And with that harsh realization, I asked myself why I thought I deserved a hurtful relationship. It had to do with my lack of self worth and my practically non existent personal boundaries. I also believed that I didn't deserve someone to love me and not to harm me. But after doing some soul searching I pulled myself out of that cycle, I broke the chain and then along came Corey :) My life has been much different since then. Corey has challenged me to discover and reinforce my personal boundaries and re-member my self worth. I deserve to love and be loved. So do you!
Later that night I got food poisoning. As if I hadn't lost enough liquids... I ended up dangerously dehydrated on Sunday and was contemplating going to the hospital which is really saying something for me. I do try to take good care of myself so I don't end up sick very often. But thanks to my mother in law, I'm feeling loads better today. She brought home a bunch of canned soup and Gatorade and made me a bowl to eat then said to get some rest while she watched Murphy. Before I laid down for a nap I did a quick energy make over with my new crystal wand and did the same for Corey this morning.
This morning I woke from a dream that was very insightful. My favorite spiritual leader is Teal Swan. She's the forefront leader of the authenticity movement and has aided my spiritual growth since the day I found her on YouTube. She shows up in my dreams often. And I totally have a girl crush on her. Anyway... she was in my dream and was saying that now since she is completely within herself spiritually and centered within her purpose in life, others cannot bump off of her. She is completely going her own way, not basing her life off the actions, thoughts or beliefs of others. At least, that is the challenge of authenticity. You would be surprised to find out just how much your every day actions are based off residual life patterns and those who call themselves superior to you.
In my example, it really messes with me BADLY if the dishes aren't done and I get on Corey about it too, but the reason is because I was literally abused if I didn't get the dishes done before my parents came home when I used to live with them. It really felt that way although they would deny treating me any such way. That's not the point though, the point is that, experiences we go thru leave residual pain that we may carry all through out our lives, creating experiences that reflect that pain as a result. Why? Because at the center of our being, we always desire wholeness and healing. And like said before, to heal the soul, we have to look all the way to the core.
The last thing I remember before waking up is a strange person saying "The mind needs powerfully raw, uncontaminated ideas" just like the body needs raw, uncontaminated foods... haha, there's some food for thought.
That's some inspiration for me to continue aiming to go vegan. It's been a process but I feel like that is what My Body desires. After all this purging it would be a sin to turn myself down. Since food poisoning I've been very sensitive to what foods I can eat... which is NOT a bad thing. What feels good with My Body is what I need. That is part of being self loving and listening to your body, your 'IN'tuition ;) So my path to going vegan is becoming clearer and clearer. It's hard to just go cold tofu vegan (get it? cold turkey ;) ;) lol but as a result of wanting to go vegan so much, I've seemed to created scenarios that allow me to do just that and more opportunities for making wise health choices have appeared in my life. So food poisoning may have been a blessing in disguise...
this is what the traditional sweat lodges look like!
https://youtu.be/oYjUIW0IzQQ (link to most recent Teal Swan video)
I would show you a pic of my wand but it doesn't want to be exposed lol sorry
This is a native american color wheel. Each Native american tribe has a different spin on the representations of each color and season, kindof like how religions are all very similar with very little separation between them... makes you wonder why the hell so many wars were started over religion...
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