How I Projected My Daddy Issues... And How to Heal Them.

    Where to begin...
    I didn't have a childhood that many, "outsiders", would consider abusive but there were multiple occasions when my father completely crossed boundaries that should never have been crossed. And as a result of how some of the experiences with my father affected my delicate psyche as a delicate child, I am very adamant about NOT physically punishing children.
    The first thing some people seem to assume when I say I will not discipline Murphy with violence is that he is going to be completely untamed and be a wild, crazy animal without any guidance or morals... Personally, I believe that it actually takes a great deal of intelligence to guide and discipline without forceful and violent means. It takes a level of intelligence that many people do not exercise because it is very difficult to break the strong vortex of a repetitive cycle that's been passed on for generations.
    My parents were physically and forcefully disciplined. Their parents were physically and forcefully disciplined and so on..... When you don't know of any other way to solve problems you will not search for other ways to solve problems because violence has become a successful means of getting one's way. But If you use your higher mind for problem solving, meaning, not using the violent and, what I will call the, "Basic", mind, you will show your children there are other ways of solving problems. In theory, this would make them less prone to violence.
    I'm going to talk briefly about children again, this is a very commonly discussed topic in my blog because childhood says so much about an individual and that is, after all, where it all begins.
    Each child is different. Even though brother and sister or brother and brother or sister and sister may be borne from the same parents, each child has a very different set and combination of prominent and recessive genes. For example, I have a very cute dimple in my chin and my sister does not. That is a very simple expression of the difference in each individual whether we share parents or not, WE ARE ALL "YOU-NIQUE".
    So each child would naturally have you-nique tendencies and talents, likes and dislikes, hobbies and habits, and each child needs their guardians/parents to flex to each child's specific, you-nique needs.
    My father, like many old school parents, only knew of one way to raise children. Or maybe he had the idea that there is only one way to raise children... Regardless, upon marrying my step mother, he realized that there were other ways of raising children. So while me and my sister got whipped with his leather belt (sometimes to the point of purple and black bruising on our asses) my step siblings got grounded.
    My father thought physical and forceful discipline was a natural component to raising children. And rarely did he solve problems with me on any other level than violence or leaving me in a corner in shame or yelling at me making me feel as small as a grain of rice, or not talking to me and turning a cold shoulder to me making me feel worthless! Wow, I'm still releasing some pain over this...
    And it's a wonder why our so called "civilized" society is so full of violence and women who feel no value and men who rape them. I think a truly civilized society would be devoid of these things.
   Now, on healing the issues we face today in our problem solving as adults, the first key is that you admit to yourself that you were not raised in a way that you want to repeat and let yourself feel those feelings that you don't want to hold on to any more. Let yourself feel it all over again, it's ok now, it's safe to let it go..
    You might feel pain, you might feel shame or sadness. Whatever it is you felt, let yourself feel it. Let out the steam through tears or eating or burning incense or taking a bath, using essential oils, brushing your hair, do whatever you feel led to do in that moment of feeling. Afterwards, when you have done that, you will noticeably feel better than you did. Keep both of those feelings in your mind or where ever you feel it, maybe in your heart or in your abdomen. It will feel like holding polar opposites in your hands. Black and white, and these will be holding the same space within you.
    While in this meditative state, you are capable of anything. You are capable of healing yourself, wiping the slate clean. You are capable of creating planets and ending poverty. That space you are in, is the eternal mind or the God mind. This is a state of complete balance and awareness and acceptance!
    The trauma I felt as a result of my father's choice of discipline was like a stain on my glasses, every time I felt someone getting angry, particularly with a child, my whole body tensed up and I could feel my blood pressure sky rocket. Survival mode starts to kick in and look for ways to combat a predator or flee for my life, putting my body and my biosphere into a state of resistance and fear.
    This is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This "dis-order" has the effect of making ordinary experiences in to full on apocalypses within the self, unnoticeable by anyone around you who is unaware of the condition. So the only escape ends up being you expressing those feelings.
     PTSD has built our society and has been passed for generations. Now we are evolving out of those limiting bondage's and stretching in to a new way of life here on Earth. It's happening, we can all feel it in some way or another.
    The soul is always expanding and looking for more and new ways to expand. This is often in the disguise as healings or traumatic events. It's not always traumatic but sudden, unexpected changes that force you to make sudden, unexpected changes are your soul jumping, leaping in to more expansion and growth.
    I still experience some anxiety when I feel the heat of anger beginning to boil, and I still get a little scared when I see a child get spanked when not listening to mommy or daddy. But the difference for me now is palpable. I opened up and talked to my mother in law and one of my close friends. They both listened to my sobbing story and helped me to gain a sense of balance within myself after I got it all out. Now, when I feel anger and get uncomfortable, I can leave the room without feeling like I'm abandoning myself. Because I've brought the part of my self that was stuck in those memories back in to the present moment. There is still a sense of tenderness there... But it's different. I can tell this is just the start of a new chapter in my life. The slate has been wiped clean.